To Catch a Speedster 2
by phantomworks
Summary: By Timothy Drake. It has come to the attention of a certain Bat that the original 'How to' book for speedster catching only works for another certain Bat and his own red-haired speedster. Unfortunately, the steps listed in that book do not apply to other speedsters, especially ones from another time period. So saying, the Bat has taken upon himself the task of writing a sequel.


Phantomworks: so I wanted 10 reviews for the first 'To Catch a Speedster' before I made a second.

**Alice; she ended up with 15.**

Phantomworks: so here is the sequel of 'To Catch a Speedster', featuring our second favorite (or possibly first) pair of Bat and Speed.

**Alice: Phantomworks doesn't own Young Justice or its characters, only this fanfic.**

To Catch a Speedster Vol. 2

By Timothy Drake

_**Otherwise known as 'To be Caught by a Bat'**_**.**

_**With comments by Bart Allen**_

It has come to the attention of a certain Bat that the original 'How to' book for speedster catching only works for another certain Bat and his own red-haired speedster. Unfortunately, the steps listed in that book do not apply to other speedsters, especially ones from another time period that seem to have grown up faster than their mind can comprehend. So saying, such a speedster does not get many hints, if at all.

_**Hints? What hints? You never hinted anything!**_

So another Bat has taken it upon himself to create a sequel to the original 'How to Catch a Speedster' book with the author's full permission to outline how one would go about catching such an innocent speedster. The steps are listed below. Please make sure to not skip a step or those who are attempting this will fail miserably.

_**Yeah right, like a Bat would ever fail. Nice try, Tim-Tim!**_

**Step 1: Realize your feelings**

_Or rather, try to figure out how to act on them._ Tim thought as he stared at the Bat Cave computer. He had been trying to figure out how to tell the youngest Allen how he felt about him for the past couple weeks. Unfortunately, the speedster hadn't recognized the fact and so went about the way he normally does.

By having an ADHD complex so bad that he can't stay in one place for more than a second. Definitely not helpful for the new Robin who was trying to mutter out a confession.

So here Robin was, trying to piece together a plan to keep a certain Bart 'Impulse' Allen in one place long enough to spit out three little words. When he had asked his older brother how to do it, Nightwing had promptly shoved a book in his hand and left through the window.

_**The window, why is it always the window?**_

The book had been helpful at first, with a few key tips, but Robin soon came to the conclusion that not all speedsters were the same, just like not all people were the same.

_**Except Bats. All Bats are the same!**_

Now he had finished the book and was back to square one.

"How does one catch a speedster?" he muttered to himself, looking between the book and the information he had brought up on the computer screen. It had taken some hacking, but he now had all the information on speedsters and more importantly _Bart_, that he possibly could. However, it only seemed to make his task look more hopeless. "What is a Level Four Containment Cell?"

"It's a type of prison that uses high level electric waves to render a speedster incapable of moving." A sudden voice almost made him flinch, _almost_.

"If you're looking for Dick, he's upstairs." Tim said, saving most of his data onto a flash drive so he could look it over in the privacy of his room.

"I know where he is." The red-head said, crossing his arms. "What I want to know is why you're looking up information about a Level Four Containment Cell."

"I was curious… Have you ever been trapped by one, Wally?" Tim gave him a curious look, wondering what the speedster knew about them.

"Yeah, got trapped once back in the old days." The red-head shuddered. "Once is enough. Painful as the apocalypse!"

"Hmmm, so that won't work." Tim sighed. _Great, another idea gone to waste._

_**Where would you even **__**get**__** a Level Four Containment Cell?!**_

"You didn't answer my question." Wally said, blocking the Bat's exit when the teen tried to leave. "Why are you looking information about that?"

"I was trying to figure out a way to get Bart to sit still for once!" Tim huffed, thinking up lies as he went. "He hasn't once paid attention to the briefings for a mission or the de-briefs afterwards! His inability to sit still is starting to wreak havoc on the team."

"Speedsters don't sit still." Wally said, matter-of-factly. "Speed and non-speed don't really work together, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, but… I just wish he'd pay attention some times." Robin's eyes dropped to the ground. He wasn't speaking for the good of the team anymore. He was speaking for selfish reasons.

"Well, all you have to do is make it interesting!" Wally said, putting a hand on Tim's shoulder. "Just hearing words will make us zone out faster than the Flash."

"I don't know if Nightwing would like that." The teen wrinkled his nose.

"Oh yeah, he leads the team now, doesn't he?" Wally cursed. "Man! And I wanted to see Batman start dancing on the screen to keep Bart's attention!"

"I highly doubt he'd do that." Tim said, but couldn't help cracking a smile. The mere thought of Batman doing something so… _un-_Batman was hilarious!

"Well, if that doesn't work, you can always try bribing him." Wally stated. "It's worked more times than I can count."

"What would I bribe him with?"

"Uh, hello? Speedster?"

"Oh… right…"

**Step 2: Confess to your crush**

Or fail horribly.

It hadn't taken long for Robin to work up the courage to ask Bart out for lunch and it took the speedster even less time to agreed and drag the Boy Wonder to the nearest All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. Having Tim agree to pay had only sweetened the deal.

Guess the way to a Speedster's heart really _was_ through his stomach.

_**Isnotandthere'snothingyoucansaytoprovemewrong! Unless of course, you bake me some cookies…**_

"So, Bart," Tim started slowly, smoothing his nerves over with the confidence that Bart wouldn't laugh at him. The speedster had admitted earlier in the year that the future accepted all kinds of people and biases. Tim just hoped that sexual orientation was one of them. "There was another reason I asked you to come out with me."

"You mean other than to do the retro version of hanging out?" the speedster looked up from his fifth plate of food. He almost seemed to vibrate with excitement. "You know I'm always up for hanging out! Nothing wrong with that! It's totally crash! But it just seemed so weird to do something normal with you! Especiallysinceyou'reRobinandyouhaveBatmanasafathe r-!"

"Sh!" Tim covered the brunette's mouth, scanning the crowd to make sure no one had heard. "What did Nightwing and I tell you about our identities?"

"MMphfflpm!" Bart's voice muffled through the Boy Wonder's hands, as if Tim could somehow translate that into real speech.

Taking his hands back, Tim asked, "What?"

"I said 'Sorry. Spoilers'…" the speedster smiled sheepishly as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again." Tim sighed, trying to collect his thoughts. "Anyway, there was a reason that I asked you… to hang out with me today. I have something to say and I thought you'd be the best person to tell…"

"_Iknewit!_" Bart jumped up from his seat. "Is it a secret? I'mnotsogoodatkeepingsecrets,butyouwouldknowthatby nowespeciallysinceyou'reRobinandeverything! Soitcan'tbeasecret,butitmustbesomethingelse –ohohoh! Is it a mission? It'samissionisn'tit!? Ohmygosh,I'mgoingonatopsecretmissionwith_Robin_!"

"It's not a mission!" Tim shushed, ignoring the weird looks from the crowd. "Now sit down!"

Immediately, the speedster sat. However, he was unable to keep himself from fidgeting and nearly vibrated his hands through the table.

"It's not a mission…" Robin repeated, pushing his sunglasses higher on his face, "But it is a secret. You can't tell _anyone_, got it?"

"Really?!" Bart couldn't believe it. _The_ Robin was going to trust Bart with something he didn't want anyone else to know, _knowing_ that Bart usually spoke before he thought. Somehow, this made everything serious. Bart swore to himself that he wouldn't tell a soul, even if it meant he had to become a mute! "What is it?"

Unsure of himself, Tim took a quick glance over his shoulder where a certain ex-Boy Wonder and a certain ex-Superhero were having a date. Not as Nightwing and Kid Flash, but as Dick Grayson and Wally West. The two had followed for emotional support, or at least Dick had.

Tim was pretty sure Wally just came for the food.

But it was the thought that counted. That and the way the two were together, in their own little world of sorts, stirred something in Tim. He wanted what his older brother had, but…

He wanted it with _Bart_.

"Tim?" said speedster caught his attention and flashed him a concerned look. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Tim took a deep breath.

"I'mgay."

Bart blinked, pretty sure that he'd heard Tim speak at a speedster's rate for a second there. Then the words sunk in. Gay? Timothy Drake, adopted son of Bruce Wayne and _the_ Batman, was gay? The guy who dated Cassie a while back? Who could make any girl in a ten mile radius fall in love with him… was _gay_?

Bart hadn't been expecting that.

It was then that he realized Tim was waiting for an answer. Green eyes flicked past the raven-haired youth's shoulder, tacking onto a couple of guys that Tim had been looking at earlier. One of them was Wally, strangely enough, but the other… Bart couldn't place a name on him. He felt like he should have been able to, but he just couldn't put a name to that face.

Had he ever seen him before?

And why had Tim been looking at him before? With a look full of longing and sadness? Why would Tim look at anyone like…

Then it hit him.

Tim was in love with that other guy!

"Bart?" Robin sounded anxious and it was only then that Bart realized he'd zoned out for a full five minutes.

_**Five minutes is a long time! It's, like, hours or something! To a speedster anyway!**_

"You want my help!" Bart beamed. "That's it, isn't it?!"

"I, er… what?" Blue eyes went wide behind thick shades. "Help?"

"Yeah!" Bart leaned across the table, pointing to where his cousin and another guy sat. "I saw you staring earlier. You like that guy over there, right? But you don't know how to ask him out 'cause you've never done it before? So you're asking me for help?"

"How do you-?!" Tim started to protest but Bart cut him off.

"Have no fear, Tim-Tim!" Bart said loudly, climbing up onto the table. "I am the best wingman ever! I'll totally help you win a date!"

"GET OFF THE TABLE!" the manager shouted, face red in anger.

"Whoops!" Bart jumped off the table before zipping back in line for more food. If he was going to be an awesome guru of love, he would need lots of energy.

Back at the booth, Tim felt like smacking his head on the table. Instead, he hid his face in his hands as his older brother shot him a sympathetic look and the rest of the restaurant laughed at him.

**Step 3: Go along with your crush's plan**

_**Coward! You just chickened out because of my awesomeness!**_

In doing so, you will inadvertently get closer to them without them realizing it.

… _**Oh… cheater!**_

"Bart, I'm pretty sure that just going up to him and saying 'please go out with me' isn't going to work." Tim said. _I've tried that already._

_**Really? When?**_

"Of course it will!" Bart said, a bright smile on his face. "We just have to give him the right incentive!"

"Incentive?" the raven raised an ebony eyebrow.

"Which do you like better?" Bart held up two bottles. "Chocolate or strawberry?"

Face darkening in embarrassment, Tim glared at the speedster, "I am _not_ giving him _lube_."

"Come _on_, Tim-Tim!" Bart whined. "You have to be aggressive! He's older than you so he's gonna wanna be top! But if you got the lube then what you say goes!"

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Tim gawked. "Where are you getting this from!?"

"A magazine." Bart said simply, an innocent look on his face.

"What magazine?"

"I don't know, Wally let me borrow it." Bart said, offhandedly as he looked over the two bottles, "I didn't catch the name, but there were a lot of girls in it…"

The speedster suddenly found the two bottles of lube out of his hands and back on the shelf. Honestly, it was like magic! Was Tim developing speed power too?!

"We're leaving." Tim told him, grabbing the brunette's thin wrist and dragging the teen after him.

"No! We have to give him a present!" Bart argued, trying to fight back. Unfortunately, he was built for speed, not strength.

Tim paused only for a minute to look back. "How would _you_ like it if I gave _you_ lube and asked you to go out with me?"

Whatever witty response he was thinking of died on his lips as the speedster's thoughts screeched to a halt. The words echoed in his mind in a way that caused his cheeks to redden amusingly. Ashamed, he looked down.

"That's what I thought." Tim said, turning back to drag his 'wingman' away from the store. "We'll try something more traditional instead."

**Step 4: Use your crush's idea against them**

_**Hey! That's totally cheating!**_

"Okay, so you got the chocolates and flowers." Bart started quietly. The two were hiding behind a bush in the local park, acting as if they were on a top-secret mission.

"And _he_ is right over there." Tim said. They didn't need to give the man a name, apparently, as 'he' was the one Tim was crushing on. Robin was actually surprised that Bart hadn't figured it out yet. He was sure that the speedster's mind would have caught up by now, but maybe there was a mental block in the brunette's mind?

How else would Bart not recognize Tim's brother, Dick?

_**Say what!?**_

"I still say we should have gone with lube." Bart said, pouting.

"And again, I will still ask you the same question." Tim said without looking. In doing so, he missed the blush that stole across Bart's face. "So I just go out there and give them to him?"

"I don't see why not."

"What if he's not gay?"

"I saw him eyeing up Wally before." Bart said. "Trust me, he's gay."

Tim shot him a look behind his shades. "And you're not worried that he'd make a move on Wally?"

"Nope, cuz'-cuz' is in a 'committed relationship with the most wonderful person in the entire world'." Bart quoted, "His words, not mine."

_I'll make sure Nightwing knows that._ Tim thought smugly before reaching up to take his sunglasses off.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Whatareyoudoing!?" Bart demanded, stopping the Boy Wonder by grabbing his hand. "What is it that you, Batman, and Nightwing are always going on about!? Secret identities and all that?!"

"Yeah, secret identities. That's why I'm taking them off." Tim said, brushing Bart's hands off. "I don't want to date my crush as Robin, Boy Wonder. I want to date him as _me_."

_**Wait a minute. If Dick was the guy you had me thinking you liked, but you actually didn't like him because you guys are brothers, then why did you say that youwantedtodateyourcrushasyourselfwhenreallyitwasr eallymethatyou-! …oh…**_

"…oh…" Bart sat back on his heels as he got his first look of Timothy Drake, real and in person. Removing the sunglasses didn't do much other than reveal his eyes, but his eyes were… wow… So blue, almost like a crystal or jewel they were so pure. They displayed every emotion that Tim didn't allow to show on his face.

_**They were beautiful… er-forget I said that!**_

Straightening his clothes and playing up his 'crush', Tim looked over, "Do I look okay?"

"Huh?" Bart blinked, "Oh, yeah. You look… you look crash, Tim-Tim! Now go out there and knock'em dead! It _is_ knock 'em dead, right? That old saying? It's so retro…"

"Here I go." Tim said as he stood and walked over to the waiting male. The guy was in his older teens with slicked back black hair and neat, pressed clothes. He was sitting at a picnic table, watching the area expectantly.

Bart watched as Tim went over and stood before the guy, flowers and chocolates hidden behind him. The two spoke for a second before Tim presented the gifts to the male. In the next second, the guy laughed.

Bart couldn't believe it!

This no-name guy just laughed in Rob- no, _Tim's _face after the teen confessed to him! Didn't he know how hard it was for a teen to do something like that?! What kind of sick, demented person just-!

And then the guy took the flowers with a smile.

Now Bart was confused. Why would the guy laugh, then take the flowers? Was it some kind of retro courting ritual? Did people still say 'courting' now-a-days? If they did, they really needed to stop. It's so not crash.

_**It's actually really moded.**_

The speedster watched as the two said good-bye and Tim walked back over. Unable to contain his excitement, Bart jumped from the bushes and confronted his friend. "So,so,so?! How'ditgo?!"

"He liked the flowers." Tim said.

"Well, obviously. I mean, he took them!" Bart gave a relieved laugh. "I was worried there for a second! The way that you showed him the stuff and thenhejustlaughedinyourface?! Itwas_so_notcrash,dude!"

"Yeah, I got a little worried too." The Boy Wonder hardly looked worried, but his eyes did show a deep concern, as if he was still nervous even after the event passed. As if sensing that his eyes were betraying him, he slid the sunglasses back in place and regarded Bart silently. "He said he'd meet with me again."

"Really? That's so _crash_!" Bart jumped up and down, so happy for his friend. "Where? When? How?"

"He gave me his number." Tim said, looking down at his hand where ink was scrawled in spider-like writing. "So I guess I get to make the time."

"Crash!" Bart said. "You're the top!"

"I don't think that's what that means." Tim shot him a dubious look.

"Well I do!" the speedster crossed his arms with a huff. "We should have gotten the lube!"

"Again, I restate my question." Tim said before holding up the box of chocolates. "By the way, did you want these? He didn't want them, so I was wondering…?"

"CRASH-YEAH!" Bart shouted as he tore the box from the Boy Wonder's hands. Lifting the lid, he gave a small squeal.

Gamble chocolates, his favorite!

… _**Oh, I see what you did there! Not cool, Tim-Tim! Not cool!**_

Tim only smiled as the speedster dove in, talking about the two ravens' next meeting in between bites of chocolate. After all, they would have to step it up a notch if Tim ever wanted to ask this guy out.

**Step 5: Wear them out**

_**Say what?**_

Over the next couple weeks, the Bat and Speedster pair could be found together all over the headquarters, planning for Robin's next date. Whenever one of the team members asked, the two clammed up, refusing to talk about it or suddenly mentioned a mission that they needed to get done.

Suffice to say, it was the longest secret Bart had kept.

_**Is not! I haven't told them I'm Barry's… I haven't told them I'm from the fu-… I haven't told them my favorite color! It's red! Take that! **_

…

_**Drat…**_

As the weeks passed, Tim seemingly got closer and closer to his crush. They now went on 'dates' every other weekend, usually the arcades or a movie of some sort.

Bart tagged along, of course, but at a far distance. He just wanted to make sure that nothing went wrong, that's all! He was watching out for Tim!

_**Okay, that sounds pathetic even to **__**me**__**…**_

When he wasn't going out with his crush, Tim was planning his next date with Bart, making sure to get the speedster's opinion on everything he did, even if he didn't always _follow_ Bart's suggestions.

Like with the lube.

_**I was **__**not**__** that insistent! I swear!**_

It was on one such day that Bart finally tracked down his new best friend, excited to start on their next ploy. "Ti-er, Robin! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!"

"What is it, Impulse?" Robin asked, sticking to the 'in-uniform' name.

"Just seeing if you wanted to plan out the next 'mission' with 'you-know-who'?" that had become their secret way of asking about Tim's crush.

"Nah, I think I'll be fine." Tim said, brushing off the question. That brought the speedster up short.

"So then…" if they weren't planning, that meant that the Boy Wonder didn't have a date that afternoon, which was odd because Saturday had been dubbed 'date-night'. When the acrobatic teen wasn't off with his 'boyfriend' though, they always made other plans beforehand.

The fact that they hadn't threw Bart off. "Do you wanna hang out? Or something?"

"Actually, I can't." Robin said, looking at his watch. "I have a date tonight. Maybe next weekend?"

Robin had a date? And he hadn't consulted Bart? Baffled, Bart replied with a flat, "Uh… yeah… sure…"

"All right." Robin agreed, seemingly not noticing the look of disappointment on Bart's face. "See you later!"

"Bye…" the down-hearted speedster waved as his friend left through the Zeta-tube. Once the Boy wonder had left, Bart dropped his hand, staring at where his friend had just been.

Why did the fact that Tim didn't consult him concern him so much? And the fact that he didn't even know about the date? And why was it that his heart ached at the thought of Tim brushing him off?

Thoroughly confused, Bart stalked off to his room at a mundane, human pace that revealed his inner turmoil. If anyone from the team saw him, no one commented on it.

**Step 6: Get them jealous**

_**I do **__**not**__**get jealous!**_

It soon became a habit for Tim to brush Bart off whenever he suddenly had a 'date'. Every weekend now had the Boy Wonder off on his own unless a mission was involved. It became near impossible to track him down, but Bart had his ways.

Not many were legal, but then again, much of what vigilantes did couldn't _exactly_ be considered legal. Just take Batman for example! He hacked the Police database every weekend for Pete's Sake!

So the speedster began to stalk the new couple all over the place. From diners to fine restaurants, from roller-skating to snowboarding, he followed their every move.

_**Quite well, might I add? Tim-Tim didn't even suspect a thing!**_

As such, he got to see firsthand all of the lovey-dovey stuff, except… there wasn't that much. Of course, he kind of expected that, the way Tim had been raised and all, but there should have been something, right? They were teenagers for Pete's Sake!

Then it happened.

The kiss.

Or at least, that's what Bart called it.

The two had been playing a game of some sort at an arcade, laughing and jibing each other, almost like best friends, when Tim had leaned in. From his hiding spot across the street, Bart could only make out the back of Tim's head. When the teen pulled away, the man he was dating sported a shocked look, red dusting over his cheeks.

Then a different emotion overcame the shock.

Smirking, the man said something to Tim, something akin to a challenge. The younger raven straightened up, puffing out his chest in determination. Immediately after, the two left the arcade and called for a taxi. Once both were inside the yellow box of a car, the vehicle sped off.

Bart could only stare after them, mind running to all the places that they could be headed. Or, rather, the one destination that was possible after such an act.

Unable to bear the thought, he ran back to the cave, smashing through the sound barrier sometime on the way. He told himself it was because he didn't need to see Tim doing such things with some guy; that it was totally mode to spy on people –even in _this_ time period.

Yet every excuse sounded hollow. The truth was, he just didn't want to see Tim with that guy anymore.

It hurt him to think about it.

**Step 7: Let them simmer**

_**What am I? Soup?! … Actually, soup doesn't sound so bad right now…**_

The pattern of stalking had continued to an extent. Bart tried to back off, to not let his curiosity over power him and most times, he was able to hold back. Tim would disappear for the day, dropping off the radar for several hours, only to come back afterwards to hang out with Bart.

And Bart was okay with that. Really, he was!

There wasn't any reason not to be after all. Tim was dating a guy he liked and the speedster should be happy for him! They were best friends after all! The friendship status had risen since they first started out this plan. By Bart's estimate, there was no one else he'd rather spend the afternoon with besides Tim.

_**Sorry, Jaime.**_

However, this wasn't often the case with the Boy Wonder.

Tim had started dropping Bart more and more often, using the 'I forgot I had a date' excuse. Honestly, the speedster thought that if Robin was so in love with this guy, he wouldn't forget a date, but they always turned out to be 'last-minute' things. So the acrobat would apologize, set up a new time, and be off within minutes.

Just like now.

"I'm sorry, Bart." Tim looked really sincere, even with the sunglasses that hid his eyes from view. Bart had only seen them off a few other times, but he had already grown an addiction to the clear blue orbs that revealed the raven's deepest thoughts. Even now he wanted so badly to rip the glasses off and throw them far away.

_**It's not often someone has eyes like that in the future…**_

"I'll make it up to you! I promise." Tim said as he put a hand on the silent speedster's shoulder. It was strange for Bart to be silent at all, so it was good that Tim was worried.

To ease his concern, Bart faked a smile, "Nah, don't worry 'bout it, Tim-Tim! We can hang out some other time. Go mess with your boyfriend! It's totally crash!"

"So you understand?" Tim gave a relieved sigh, withdrawing his hand.

"Sure, 'course." Bart didn't let the smile falter.

"Great." Robin smiled as he turned to leave, "So I'll see you around!"

With that, the speedster knew that his friend would leave. He would leave and go to that other person that Impulse was slowly growing to hate. He would forget about Bart for however long he was with _that person_ and the speedster would be left on the outside again; alone and forgotten.

Unthinking, Bart's hand zipped out to snatch a hold of Tim's sleeve, making the teen stop in his tracks. Cocking his head to the side, Tim gave Bart a strange look. "Bart? Are you okay?"

Realizing what he had done, Bart's eyes widened, staring at his hand that seemed to have a mind of its own. At the Boy Wonder's words, the brunette snapped to attention, yanking his hand away too quickly to see. Enthusiastically waving off his friend's concern, Bart smiled and lied, "Y-Yeah! I'm fine! Crash! Totally crash! Couldn'tbebetter! See you around, yeah!"

Tim gave him another look before turning back to the Zeta-tubes and teleporting out of the cave.

Bart face-palmed. What had he been thinking!?

_**What **__**had**__** I been thinking?**_

"You are _so_ fallen, hombre." Jaime laughed, causing Bart to straighten with a squeak.

"Wh-what are you talking about!?" Bart demanded, face reddening from embarrassment. Had Jaime witnessed that whole scene? If he had, he'd never let the speedster live it down!

"You know what I mean." Jaime waggled his eyebrows. "Head over heels? Twitter-pated? _Se enamas de?_"

Bart stared at him blankly.

"Dude, you're in love!" Jaime laughed again.

"A-Am not!" Bart defended.

"Not only that!" Jaime was laughing so hard, he had to wipe tears from his eyes, "You're in love with _Robin_!"

"AM NOT!" Bart shouted, face reddening as he stomped his foot childishly. He was _not_ in love with Robin! He couldn't be! Tim had a boyfriend already! Bart couldn't like him like that!

And he'd prove it too!

**Step 8: Get them to realize their feelings**

"You're in love with him." Was Wally's simple answer.

After the 'discussion' with Jaime (read: teasing followed quickly by a mock-fight), Bart had raced to the one person who he knew would agree with him! So saying, he found himself at his cousin's house.

And he was watching said cousin inspect several Bat-like weapons on his living room floor with a contemplative look.

"You can't know that for sure!" Bart started to argue before his ADHD got the better of him. "What are you _doing_?"

"Preparing a battle plan." Wally answered. "Some kid had been clinging to Dick recently and it's messing with our couple's time. Worse, I think the upstart's trying to steal Dick from me!"

"Wow, that's so mode." The brunette commented.

"Yeah, so I thought I should bring a little back up with me in case I have to ruin his little plan." Wally set a Batarang down. "Anyway, I can know for sure."

"Cannot." Impulse pouted.

"Can to, and I'll prove it." The red head finally looked up from his array of weapons. "Who's the first person you think of in the morning?"

"Tim." Bart said without thinking.

"Who's the person you think of first to hang out with?"

"Tim."

"Who's the person you want to have your back on a mission?"

"Tim." The brunette didn't like where this was headed.

"Who's a person you know won't judge you for being a needy, annoying speedster?"

"I'm not a-!"

"Bart."

"…Tim." He _really_ didn't like where this was headed.

"Who would you trust with your darkest secrets?"

"… Tim."

"Who would you put your life on the line for?"

"… Tim…"

"Who would you _trust_ with your _life_?"

"…" Bart frowned. "I hate you."

"At least you know your answer." Wally shrugged.

"But best friends can be like that!" the younger speedster defended. "You and Dick were like that!"

"And look how we turned out." Wally gestured to himself and the weapons in front of him. Green eyes took in his older cousin, realization dawning as he connected all of the dots.

The way he had wanted Tim to himself. How he had tried to get Tim to cancel a few of his dates before chickening out. How he had stalked Tim on some of the dates, even though he tried not to. How he had an increasing amount of pain in his chest every time Tim left to go out with _that person_…

It was obvious. Too obvious. Only Bart had been left in the dark. Even now he couldn't believe it.

Bart 'Impulse' Allen was in love with Timothy Drake, Boy Wonder.

**Step 9: Make them explode**

_**What?! Now I'm a **__**bomb**__**?!**_

It had only been a day or two, but Bart had accepted the fact that he liked Tim. In speedster time, a week or so had gone by, so he had managed to get through all five stages of grief. In fact, he'd done it all before dinner time the first day.

The second day, he still had no clue what to do about it.

He had yet to see Tim after his revelation and as such, had had no way of knowing how the teen would react. Or if he would even tell the Boy Wonder what his feelings were. After all, Tim _was_ dating someone else…

And that thought made Bart bristle.

Because of this, he decided not to think about the matter at all. Out of mind, out of sight, right?

_**Or was it out of sight, out of mind…**_

As such, the speedster was completely unprepared when he ran into Tim on his way home from school.

Literally.

"Ow!" Bart hissed as he fell on his butt. "Who did I –Tim? What are you doing here?"

"Ugh…" the teen groaned, pressing a hand to his head. Blue eyes looked up, blinking as they took in the brunette. "Bart?"

"Oh, not crash! Did I run into you?!" Bart leapt to his feet, helping Robin to his own. "I am _so_ sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going!"

"Kind of hard to when you're going at super speed." Tim noted, pulling his hand away from his head to check for blood. It was clean, so he would only have to sport a nice bruise for the next couple weeks. Nothing new. "Where were you going so fast?"

"Uh, it's the weekend?" Bart cocked his head to the side. "I was headed to the Garricks' to grab my stuff and then over to the cave."

Green eyes lit up hopefully, "Hey, since you're here, y'wanna come with? We can steal some of Mrs. Joan's cookies and then hop over to an arcade before-!"

"Actually, I'm pretty busy at the moment." Tim glanced across the street where _that person_ was waiting in a line for ice cream from a vendor. The mere sight of the other person had anger boiling up in Bart. Crystal blue eyes turned on him apologetically. "Maybe some other-?"

"No." Bart cut in hotly. A frown tugged at the corner of his lips as he glared at the ground.

"No?" Tim's eyes widened in shock. "What do you mean-?"

"I mean _no,_ Tim!" the brunette's hands balled into fists at his side. "I get that you're happy with that guy and that you want to spend time with him, but that doesn't mean that you can blow me off! I helped you ask him out! I helped plan your dates! We used to hang out! Now we don't!"

Deceitful tears welled up in the speedster's eyes as he finally looked up at the raven. "I thought we were best friends…"

"We are!" Tim said quickly, putting his hands on the speedster's thin shoulders. "We are friends! The best! I wouldn't forget that, Bart. Never."

"Then act like it." Bart gritted his teeth. "If we're such good friends, then act like it! Let's hang out at an arcade or go to some all-you-can-eat buffet! Do some secret mission or whatever-Idon'tcarewhatwedojustthatwedosomething! Something without _him_."

Sapphire eyes blinked a few times before realization dawned on him. Tim took a step back, but didn't lower his hands. "Are you asking me to choose between him and you?"

_**Okay, that makes me sound really petty.**_

Bart didn't reply. When the acrobat put it that way, it seemed really silly, but the speedster wasn't about to admit it. Instead, he stared at Tim, willing him to make his decision now.

Silence passed.

"What if I am?" Bart finally said, unable to handle the silence any longer. Ashamed, his eyes drifted downwards, feeling as if he had already lost.

Which is why a startled squeak escaped when the older teen pulled him into a tight hug. Without thinking, his fingers curled into the other's red hoodie as Bart shifted his head upwards, catching a glimpse of a lingering smile on Tim's face. "Tim, wha-?"

"I choose you."

"Wh-what?" Green eyes widened in disbelief.

"I choose you, Bart." Tim tightened his hold slightly, making the speedster's heart beat quicken. "And I always will."

A nervous, yet relieved smile made its way onto the brunette's face.

"But I can't say I'll never see him either." Tim added.

The speedster's smile disappeared, replaced with a frown. "Why not?"

Before Tim could answer, _that person _appeared, holding two ice cream cones. One had only two scoops while the other had about ten or so piled precariously on top of one another. _That person_ smiled brightly and cooed. "Aw, did you two make up already? I missed the whole thing!"

"Yeah, we did!" Bart said defensively, pulling away from Tim only to stand in front of him. "No thanks to you!"

"Me?" the man asked innocently, cocking his head to the side like an adorable puppy.

Normally, Bart would have cooed over the look, but he was not in a happy mood at the moment. In fact, he was kind of moded. Tim chose him over this guy, but it turns out that he really _didn't_. The Boy Wonder was still going to see this guy and Bart didn't like that thought one bit.

"Yes, you!" Bart stomped his foot. "You're the reason we were fighting in the first place! If you hadn't taken all of Tim's time, then we could have been hanging out together! Instead,he disappearsfor,like,thewholedayandInevergettoseehim anymore! It'slikehedoesn'tevenexist,oratleast,Idon't,andtha t'sallcausehehangsoutwithyou! So it's all your fault!"

A stunned silence followed his tirade as Bart panted slightly from his emotional rant.

Two pairs of blue eyes blinked at Bart's outburst before the older male turned to Tim and stated. "Your boyfriend doesn't like me much, does he?"

"No, I don-!" Bart paused, frowning cutely as the words registered in his head. _Wait, __boyfriend_?

"He's under the impression that we are dating." Tim addressed the older male, slinging an arm over Bart's shoulders.

"You still haven't told him?" the older raven raised an eyebrow.

"Have you told _you-know-who_ about me?"

"Touché."

"Excuse me!" Bart shouted, gaining their attention. "Can someone _please_ explain to me what's going on here?!"

"And me?" a fourth voice cut in as Wally appeared at the older raven's side. "Dick, why is it that I find you with this upstart more often than not these days? And why are you with Bart?"

"Wally?" Bart's brow crinkled in confusion before the other speedster's words replayed in his head. With wide eyes, he turned on the older raven. "Wait, _Dick_?"

"Bart, meet Richard Grayson, my adopted brother." Tim gestured to the older male. "Dick, Bart."

"Wally, meet Timothy Drake, my second adopted brother." The older raven smiled as he handed Wally the giant ice cream cone. "Tim, Wally."

Both speedsters stared on in confusion.

**Step 10: Reveal your plan**

"So let me get this straight." Wally started. The group had taken residence at a picnic table in a nearby park. Both speedsters were still trying to wrap their heads around the Bats' scheme even after the two ravens had explained it several times.

"Bart saw Tim looking at us in that one restaurant several weeks ago and decided that Tim had a crush on you." Wally pointed to Dick who was eating his ice cream contently. "Instead of doing the _right thing_ and _correcting_ Bart, Tim came to you and the two of you made a giant, convoluted plan to hook Robin up with Impulse. Meanwhile, I was left on the outside thinking that some kid was trying to take my lover away from me."

"Mm…" Dick thought for a moment, giving his ice cream a big lick up the side. "Sounds about right."

"You little _troll_!"

"Totally not crash, dudes!" Bart pouted and sunk low in his seat. He couldn't believe that Tim and Dick would do such a thing. Worse, he couldn't believe he fell for it! Even as he was thinking this, the speedster couldn't help but vibrate the smallest bit when Tim wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Could you blame me?" Tim asked, blue eyes swimming with the emotions he normally kept under wraps. "I've had these feelings for several months now. Every time I tried to tell you before, you ran off before I could get a few words out. When this opportunity came, I couldn't help myself!"

"That doesn't mean it was a smart idea!" Wally cut in before turning on his own Bat. "And _you!_ How could you go along with this?!"

"Eh," Dick shrugged. "It sounded fun. Plus the jealousy sex was _awesome_!"

Both speedsters squeaked as Tim shook his head. "What is it with you and sex?"

"Just because you ain't getting any, doesn't mean I can't enjoy mine." Dick shot him a leer as Wally and Bart's faces turned bright red.

"If it means that I can't sleep at night, yes it does!" Tim growled.

"Only when I spend the night at the manor. All of the other times are at my apartment."

"So while I get sleep those nights, a whole neighborhood is kept awake somewhere else? Yeah, sounds fair."

"You're just jealous."

"Well, if _someone_ wouldn't make so much _noise_-!"

By this time, the speedsters' faces were so red that they looked like they were about to explode.

"OKAY! WE GET IT!" Wally interrupted loudly, standing from his seat. "All people of the Batfamily have issues! Anything else we should know about?"

The two Bats shared a look.

"The book?" Tim asked.

"Don't see why not." Dick shrugged.

"Book?" Bart perked up from his seat, looking between Tim and Dick. "What book?"

"It's a journal of sorts." Tim said, producing a small leaflet from his pocket. It was about half the size of a normal book, but was rather thick in its entirety. The title of the book? –To Catch a Speedster 2.

"You didn't." Wally stared at the book in horror.

"You've seen it?" Dick questioned in amusement.

"I saw the first!" Wally hissed. "It's what made all of my fangirls turn into rabid monsters! It's one of the reasons I had to retire!"

"Oh…" Dick looked away quickly, not able to stare Wally in the eye.

"You-" Green eyes widened. "YOU WROTE THAT, DIDN'T YOU?!"

Dick smiled.

"I WILL KILL YOU, DICK GRAYSON!" the ex-hero roared.

"Only if you can catch me!" the acrobat sang as he leapt from his seat and pulled a grappling gun from his hidden utility belt. He really shouldn't do this while out of uniform, but he rather liked his body intact.

Besides, if he could buy enough time, they might end up in a bed instead of a fight.

Angry sex was fun too.

"Hmm…" Tim hummed in thought as he watched his brother and his brother's lover race into the city. Maybe he should re-think publishing his book. It was still in its editing stages, so it was possible to scrap the project.

"Done." Bart said, placing the book down.

"What?" the acrobat turned to him.

"I read it." The speedster said simply. "And added stuff."

"Stuff like what?"

"Oh, a couple comments. Nothing much." The speedster smiled innocently. Curious, Tim picked the book up. Flipping to the first page, he couldn't help a small smile from tugging at his lips as he read the 'alternate title' that Bart had made.

Things were definitely looking up.

Now only one thing to do.

"Hey, Bart." Tim pulled a familiar object from his pocket and handed it to the speedster. "Will you go out with me?"

The brunette's face turned red so fast that Tim almost missed it. Then the bottle of lube was chucked back at him as the speedster screamed and ran off.

It probably didn't win him any points in the 'love' arena, but it was totally worth the younger teen's reaction.

o0O0o

At this point, you and your speedster should be able to progress normally as any non-superhero pair would. You will be perfectly happy and your speedster should be after they forgive you for scheming behind their back. As speedsters are notorious as getting over things quickly (they are speedsters after all), this will take, at most, two days. From there, this book will be of no use to you.

In the last book, however, you may have read about an extra step that a Bat must take after he had caught his speedster. If you are a bottom, as such is the case for the previous well-meaning Bat, you must still go and introduce your captured speedster to your family and more importantly, the big Bat himself.

If you are a top, however, the circumstances change quite drastically. After all, you no longer play on your own field. It is time to go into enemy territory. Yes, that means coming to your _speedster's _over-protective and slightly crazy family and introducing yourself.

Good luck.

**Step 11: Meeting the family**

"I'm happy to hear about you two love birds finally getting together." Wally said, lounging in one of the Bat manor chairs. "However, I do need to say one thing."

Tim looked up from his book as the speedster suddenly appeared over him.

"If you hurt so much as one hair on Bart's head, I will vibrate my hand through your chest and rip out your very heart." Deadly green eyes pierced Tim's very soul as they bored into his own. "Do I make myself clear?"

Swallowing thickly, Tim nodded, sinking lower in his seat.

"Dude!" Dick stood up.

"Wally!" Bart protested, zipping to his boyfriend's side.

"Hey, Flash's words, not mine." Wally said, backing away with his hands raised in surrender. "Although, if I get to Tim before he does, he gave me permission to follow through."

"So not crash, 'cuz!" Bart huffed, pulling Tim to his feet and dragging him to front door. "I don't need you terrorizing my boyfriend in _his_ house! Come on, Tim! Let's go to an arcade!"

"Uh, sure…" Tim agreed, still rattled. Who could have guessed that speedsters could be so violent! They almost put Batman to shame; almost…

Speaking of Batman…

As they walked towards the front doors, the doors themselves opened to reveal a smartly dressed Bruce Wayne coming in from a long day's work. The couple stopped immediately, Bart hiding slightly behind Tim. So far, the speedster hadn't had to deal with a Batman threat for dating Tim and he really didn't want today to be the day.

However, Bruce gave them one look over and asked, "Dating?"

"Yes." Tim said, completely relaxed under the penetrating stare.

"Which?"

"Top."

The business man nodded, gave a small, silent thumbs-up, and walked into the kitchen to grab a snack before dinner. Bart watched him tensely until the man disappeared from view.

"Is that…" Bart peeked over Tim's shoulder. "Is that it?"

"Yep." Tim tugged him towards the front doors again.

"Really? That wasn't so bad!" Bart relaxed in relief. "The way that Wally made it sound, an encounter with the Bat was totally moding!"

"It all depends on who you are." Tim said, opening the door for the speedster.

"Wally ended up in a hospital."

"He jumped out a window."

"…" Bart wrinkled his nose. "Why would he jump out a window?"

"Fear makes people do stupid things." Tim smiled gently. "Fear and love."

Green eyes peered up from under a dark fringe, pale lips pulling up in a small smile.

And that was how the Bat caught his speedster and how the speedster was caught by his Bat.

The end

Phantomworks: wow, that was long.

**Alice: longer than the first.**

Phantomworks: almost twice as long…

**Alice: but was it as good?**

Phantomworks: I don't know. Hey! I also want to know people's opinion of a series of oneshots that I have ideas for! They are all Birdflash or Hummingbird. Do you guys want to read them?

**Alice: I know I do.**

Phantomworks; you don't count.

**Alice: curses.**

Phantomworks: please review and tell me what you think!


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